I wish I could drown in my own vomit

I hate that no matter how hard I try. I can never get people to like me. I try faking. being my self. and well other things. I just do not understand what is wrong with me? People never bother to talk to me. No one cares. Too bad I have to be on meds so I cant drink my sorrows away. FUUUUUCK. How do I tell them I do not want to be on meds anymore? How the fuck do I tell them I'd rather rot in the fucking ground then live how they see I am living?!? They are forcing me to stay in this hell hole with them. So i can suffer as well. I want to move out. I really do. But I dont know what to do. How do I go about this?!! I have no friends to ask if I can move in with. So how the fuck am I going to go about the rest of my life?!